The verb we use three times daily is לְהִתְפַּלֵּל, lehitpallēl. Its root is פ־ל־ל, p-l-l, which in every appearance in Tanakh means to judge, to assess, to differentiate, to execute decisive judgement.
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Shemot 21:22: וְנָתְנוּ בִּפְלִלִים, venātenū bi-pelīlīm (according to the judgement of the judges).
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Ruth 1:20: כִּי הֵמַר פָּלַל לִי שַׁדַּי, kī hēmar pālal lī Shadday (Shaddai has made my life very bitter through decisive judgement).
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Tehillim 106:30: וַיַּעֲמֹד פִּינְחָס וַיְפַלֵּל, vayya‘ămōd Pīnḥās vayefallēl (Pinchas stood and executed judgement, and the plague was stopped).
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Iyov 31:11: עָוֹן פְּלִילִים, ‘āvōn pelīlīm (a crime for the judges).
The Rambam (Moreh Nevukhim 3:32) explains that tefillah replaced the daily Tamid because the offering was the moment a Jew brought his entire self to be weighed and purified. Now the Amidah is that moment.
So when you stand with feet together, you step into the King’s private courtroom. You are both the נאשם, nāshām (the accused) and the דַּיָּן, dayyān (the judge) of your own soul.
You differentiate: what was real avodat Hashem today and what was only habit? You clarify: which excuses were true and which were self-deception? You decide: what will I change before this day ends?
This is why the feet are joined like one foot. There is no one else in existence except you and the Ribbono shel Olam. This is why we bow four times. We show the King: “I have judged myself, I accept Your verdict, and I leave here different.” This is why the final berakhah is שִׂים שָׁלוֹם, sīm shālōm (grant peace). True self-judgement always ends in shalom.
The old Temani paytanim sang it this way:
בָּאתִי לְפָנֶיךָ לְהִתְפַּלֵּל בָּאתִי לְהַפְרִיד בֵּין אוֹר לְחֹשֶׁךְ שֶׁבְּתוֹכִי
Bātī lefanekhā lehitpallēl Bātī lehāfrīd bēn ōr leḥōshekh shebbetōkhī
“I have come before You lehitpallēl. I have come to separate light from darkness inside myself.”
So the next time you take your three steps back and three steps forward, whisper in your heart:
“Ribbono shel Olam, I am not here only to speak. I am here to stand in Your courtroom, to let You watch me judge myself rightly, and to walk out changed, because only a soul that has judged itself can truly love You.”
That is the burning romance of tefillah, the quiet, fierce love affair between a Jewish soul and its Creator, three times every day, forever.
